7 Ways to Torment the ‘Star Wars’ Fan in Your Life

The new Star Wars movie opens December, 18. Many fans have been waiting since either 2005 or 1983 (depending on where they fall on the prequels hatred continuum) for this day. Directed by J.J. Abrams and featuring the return Han and Chewy, this movie is a destine to be a movie that is seen, in theaters, by people.

To be clear upfront, I too am a Star Wars fan. In fact, I've recently had several discussion about which side of The Force Luke fall on in the new movie. I bet the Star Wars fan in your life is pretty wound up right now with the big force awakening coming up. Here's some things you can say to mess with that fan (all in good fun of course).

1) Ask them if the new movie is a remake. Better yet, frame it as the tired old question, "Why do they have to always remake great movies?"

If you're lucky you'll get a detailed continuity speech. And maybe an opinion on the Jar-Jar is a Jedi Master Theory.

2) When a Star Wars discussion breaks out, wait for  the right moment and add, "Yea, my favorite part is when Will Smith says 'Welcome to earth!'."  Then after the obligatory correction, complete with a negative aside about Roland Emmerich, add, "Oh wait, I mean when Will Smith says 'I make this look good'."

3) Tell them about the time you found the Luke, Han and Obi-Wan action figures with double-telescoping lightsabers at a yard sale for for a quarter each, then gave them to your six year-old cousin who let his dog chew on them.  Oh, and call them dolls.

4) Ask if the filmmakers are going with the classic Cylon look in the new movie.

5) Go on and on about how you hope that we get to see more from the Ewoks in the new movie. Hopefully Han and Leia has retired on the forest moon of Endor and we get to spend a lot of movie time in a treetop village.

6) Insist on calling it Warp Drive.

7) Ask, "Which one is Bobby Feet?"