I Love Life: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway
International best-selling author Susan Jeffers makes a practice of saying “Yes” to life. She says about her mastectomy many years ago.
“I remember lying in bed and thinking to myself, ‘am I going to say ‘yes’ to this or am I going to say ‘no?’ I decided to say ‘yes’ meaning that I would somehow find the good that can come out of it. I know at a moment like that, it’s hard to think of anything positive. But, that was my goal. Luckily for me today, over 20 years later, I think of the experience as one of the most enriching parts of my life. The cancer taught me many things, including the value of life and the importance of the people you love. I ask everyone to take whatever happens to them and say ‘I’m going to find the good anyway I can.’”
Susan did the same thing following her divorce.
“Divorce is tough and mine was no exception. But I look back at the breakup and say ‘I’ve learned so much---independence and the power I have inside of me.’ Thankfully, my former husband and I are good friends today. And joyfully I am now married to the most wonderful man I have ever known. It was all grist for the mill for my newest book, The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love.”
Susan, also the author of the best seller "Feel the Far and Do It Anyway," says fear stops us from getting what we really want.
“I think we all need to look within and discover the immense amount of power we have. Most people live in a state of weakness and helplessness. We need to learn the tools that help us move forward instead of being paralyzed by fear. I’ve learned the only way to rid yourself of fear is to do what frightens you. Anyone who has achieved success has felt fear. They were able to gather the tools to push themselves from a feeling of pain, paralysis and depression to power, action and love. I used to be very frightened and just got tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the red eyes from my crying. I was determined to find the strength within me and I did. We all can do the same in our lives.”
Aside from fear, Susan says depression imprisons a lot of people.
“I think the big thing to understand is we can make a difference in the world. If we’re going to pull ourselves out of the depths of depression, we need to help other people. I know some of your readers will say, ‘when I feel better, I’ll become involved.’ But, once you take the initiative and volunteer, you will immediately feel better. It’s such a gorgeous feeling to give to the world in some way. Of course, there are people who need medical assistance for their depression. But most of us can lift our spirits by just getting out there and helping others. I used to work with the poor in New York City. In spite of their financial hardships, they were always out there giving of their time and energy. Do something good for your community and you will be doing something good for yourself. You’ll be amazed at how the depression starts to lift.”
The best selling author says part of the solution is cutting out all the negativity in the mind.
“The mind can drive us crazy. It’s so important for us to learn the affirmations that cut out the bad news.” Taking it a step further, Susan says, "There are so many people who say of great difficulties in their lives, ‘I’m so happy that happened to me. I never realized how much strength I have within.’ Everything is about changing our mind from being negative to being positive. That doesn’t mean we don’t feel the pain. It’s all right to cry---to cry the tears of ‘yes, this happened and we will all get to the other side.’ We have to really feel so we can have empathy. Positive thinking, in its most powerful sense, allows us to feel the pain that’s in us and the world around us. We need to learn to turn the pain into a feeling of power and love.”