Squirrels vs Me: Squirrels are Winning!
Oh I know, they look cute. They're fuzzy and furry with those fluffy tails, itty-bitty paws, wiggly noses, twitchy whiskers and chipper chattering. Right? Maybe and maybe not. It might just be me, but the longer I have interactions with these fleet-footed foragers, the less I like them!
I used to put pots of flowers on my front steps to spruce up the appearance of the shack in which I live. But everyday I would walk around the front of the house to grab the mail and see that the little red hooligans had either dug around in the pots or buried something in them and in the process left piles of the dirt all over the front steps.
Two days ago, I was taking the dogs outside and when we walked around the back of the house toward the yard, there was a bristly bandit running off the patio after he had obviously been gnawing on one of my jade plants! I was tempted to let Bella and Zeus go after him, but I restrained myself and them until he was safely up a tree, maniacally cackling at us.
When I did finally let the dogs walk out into the backyard, I went over and picked up what remained of the two leaves of jade plant the miniature marauder had been gnawing on. I swear you could see his teeth marks in it! I said out-loud (to no one in particular), "You little b-----d, I should sick CSI:Squirrel on you!" In fact I thought to myself that I wish I'd kept the broken Christmas bulbs they tried to abscond with years ago (I swear its true!) as more forensic proof of the wrongdoing these nefarious nibblers!
I also used to buy corn for these renegade rodents, until they broke into the container where I stored it and ate themselves into what I had hoped and imagined was near explosive oblivion! These villainous vermin also have a habit of digging numerous holes in the turf searching for tasty morsels of who knows what!!
Once again this morning, more plants had been chewed on, more dirt strewn about and I am thinking very bad thoughts about these pesky perpetrators of pilferage!!!!
More From KXRB
