They said it couldn’t be done. But I’ve managed to find the Holy Grail of sweet candies. Three root beer flavor Bottle Caps in a 3-pack. To set this up there needs to be a short backstory.

I’m a Bottle Caps junkie. You know, the little flavored sugar discs that no one can resist. Oh sure, it started out small beans. A free one from a dime store pusher. Wonka was his name. Maybe a Bottle Cap here or there on the way to school. That morphed into the theater-sized box in the alley behind the house. From there I had them hidden all over. My golf bag, my office, the glove compartment, my gun safe.

"While other kids were lighting Kool's, I was poppin' Caps. I knew I should've quit. But dammit, you gotta understand, this was our Tide Pod of the 80's" ~ Danny

I’m not sure what the gateway candy to this was, but I’m looking at you, Spree’s.

As everyone knows, the most coveted Bottle Cap is the root beer flavor. If you get one in a three pack, that’s pretty good. You get two you might as well go buy a lottery ticket. But three? That’s insane. Unheard of. Nothing short of the Red Sea parting type of miracle.

But I’ve done it.

Of course the other Bottle Cap Junkies at work like Tony "I Hate Grape" Wright won’t believe me. But I know, and that’s all that matters. And since a mic drop is so 2017 I’ll just walk off into the sunset and yell, "Not today, life. Not today!"

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