How To Survive Your In-Laws This Holiday Season & Beyond!

I guess it's simply human nature to long for the opposite of what you have, in this case I often envy my married friends and family. Conversely, they tell me, (quite often I might add) how lucky I am to be single. "You go where you want, when you want, come home whenever, don't answer to anyone, live exactly how you want. You don't have to worry about any kids but your furry children and you never have to deal with the in-laws!"

I imagine it is all in the perspective from where you are. I have witnessed some fairly contentious relationships between couples and their in-laws. With that and the upcoming holiday season in mind, I went looking for tips on how to get along with your in-laws and came up with a few. What do you think?

• Stand united with your mate!- - You should make it clear to your respective families that when they hurt, bad-mouth or dismiss your spouse they are doing the same to you!
• Communicate and respect- - It comes down to treating others as you would like to be treated. If you want your in-laws to respect you, then respect them. If you want them to listen to you, do the same for them. Try not to read between the lines, there might not be anything there. You could just be assuming what someone means or is thinking.
• Have a secret escape word or code- -This will allow you to get out and away, even for a few minutes, from an extremely stressful situation until it, they or you can calm down and re-group.
• Decide what you feel strongly about and what you can be flexible on- -Maybe Grandma & Grandpa think your kids should be able to stay up really late during the holidays, but you know life will be better for everybody if they go to bed at a decent hour. Let them know that you feel strongly about that, but maybe you can forgive the extra cookies.
• Establish clear boundaries right away- -If you don't want constant advice or habitual unexpected drop-ins make it plain at the beginning of your relationship. That way it won't be like dropping a bomb on them when they least expect it, which can lead to long-term estrangement.
• Know when to hold your tongue- -This I know from personal experience, the last thing you want during what is supposed to be a joyous family celebration, is an angry explosion over something inconsequential or something important which could be dealt with at a different time. Sometimes the whole truth should be explored on another day.
• Vent your frustrations- -Not on Facebook, not on Twitter, not at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, spewing venom and/or saliva in your mother-in-law's face, but in an appropriate venue like this message board at iVillage.com or with your best friend or sibling over a cappuccino, or perhaps over a fire-pit burning your in-laws in effigy.

Good luck and Happy Holidays!